November 11, 2013

Forever and always

Last night, at bedtime, I put Forever And Always by Parachute in my headphones and settled down to sleep. By the end of the song, I was crying hot tears. I couldn't stop.

Music, perhaps the most human of instincts and inventions, can do that at its very best: reach right past our rational minds, beyond any analysis or cynicism, directly to our emotions. Then it can draw those feelings out and bring them to the surface, even when we didn't know exactly what was in there.

Heartbreak comes in many different flavors. There's the heartbreak of rejection, of unrequited love. There's the heartbreak of breaking up, of losing love. There's the heartbreak of getting dumped, of not being loved anymore.

But worst of all is the heartbreak of having been in love, for years, and both of you still being in love. But someday one of you is going to die. And no one, neither of you, not anyone else, can do anything about it.

That is my greatest fear. I didn't invite Will Anderson's voice there, but somehow it seems to know, so when it breaks down my barriers and taps the depths, that's where it goes, and what comes out.

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